Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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