Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
i think i just lost a toe
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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