Is it normal to miss your booty call?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
