i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
