my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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