What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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