in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
