Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
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