I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Randomize
