Got a toothbrush?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
