R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
