i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
Randomize
