okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
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