I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
tell your sister to shave her snatch
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
