K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
