I saw his package. It spoke to me.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
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I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
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The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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