i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
