Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize