We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I woke up under a house in Key West
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