so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
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