just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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