hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
