what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
