i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
