i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
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Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
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