i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
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