I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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