help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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