U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
