Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
