She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I cut my penus on the lid.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
