Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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