i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
