Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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