I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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