I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
