member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
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