if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
he's gonorrhea incarnate
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
