I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
