Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
