I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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