Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
