Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
he wants to bone in the snuggie
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
