he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
