The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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