gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
