I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
All I want is dick and wine.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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