i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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