I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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