someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
