people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
