His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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