dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
