If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Randomize
