I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
