I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize