Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Randomize
